Children can be a Blessing or a Burden
by Darkest Desire
Summary: Ever wonder what kind of trouble the FFVIII gang got themselves into when they were kids? Well here’s a humorous collection of the adventures and mishaps that the Orphanage Gang had when they were little. Companion piece to A Picnic and Playful Banter.
1. Prologue

Summary: Ever wonder what kind of trouble the FFVIII gang got themselves into when they were kids? Well here's a humorous collection of the adventures and mishaps that the Orphanage Gang had when they were little. Companion piece to A Picnic and Playful Banter.

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PROLOGUE: HOW MUCH TROUBLE CAN THEY BE?

"You know I've always wanted children," Edea Kramer commented absently, not bothering to lift her eyes from the book she was reading, not because of any particular interest in the book, but more out of fear of what her husband's reaction would be.

Cid looked up from his newspaper, where he had been reading an article on declining Chocobo populations, letting out an audible sigh at the painful subject his wife had chosen to bring up. "Edea, sweetheart, you know that we're far too old to be thinking of having children now. Maybe if we were younger..." he broke off morosely, knowing how much having children meant to Edea (and always had) and disappointed that he once again had to be the voice of reason on the matter.

But instead of the tears that were usually trickling down Edea's cheeks by this point in the conversation, a look of determination had crossed her face. "I want to start an orphanage. I filled out some papers and sent them in...They've accepted us. I...I really want to do this." With that said she turned her gaze towards that of her husband's, letting him see just how much this meant to her.

Knowing full well how important this was to his wife, Cid reluctantly tried to talk her out of her already set decision. "Children are a big responsibility, Edea, a burden. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm surer about this that I have ever been about anything else in my entire life. I really want to do this, Cid. And trust me, these children won't be a burden, they will be a blessing. Besides they need a home; please let me do this," Edea pleaded to her husband, a look of extreme desperation marring her features.

Upon seeing that look and hearing his wife's pleas, Cid realized the futileness of trying to refuse her what she so desired. "When do they move in?" he asked calmly, feigning disinterest.

"Next week," she replied happily, a radiant smile gracing her face, "Thank you, Cid. You'll see, these children won't be any problem at all; I'm sure of it."

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Author's Note: The first chapter will be up soon; it's a humorous, little story about Zell and some trouble that he gets into. Trust me, it will be far more interesting from here on out and the main chapters will be much longer. 


	2. Zell

Summary: Ever wonder what kind of trouble the FFVIII gang got themselves into when they were kids? Well here's a humorous collection of the adventures and mishaps that the Orphanage Gang had when they were little. Companion piece to A Picnic and Playful Banter.

(A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the prologue; I really appreciate it!)

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CHAPTER ONE: WHY SKUNKS DON'T MAKE GOOD PETS

"What's that?" asked a curious Zell, gazing off into the distance where he had just seen a black and white something sneak off into the bushes, which were still rustling as the animal, presumably, made its way along.

Selphie, who happened to be on safari with Zell, glanced to where his outstretched hand was pointed, but could only see the moving bush, "It's a magic bush!" she exclaimed joyously, her eyes filling with wonder.

"No it's not!" Zell cried from where he was crouching next to her, frowning at Selphie's unhelpful remark. "It's an animamal," he corrected her seriously. "Let's go see what it's doing."

Selphie seemed to be up for it, so they snuck as quietly as possible through the underbrush and towards the 'animamal.'

"What if it's a lion!" Selphie whispered harshly, her voice marked by fear and her eyes wide. She paused in her trek, seemingly reluctant to go any further.

"It's not a lion," Zell proclaimed, quite certain of himself. "It's something black and white; I saw it when it went into the bushes."

"I know; it's a zebra!" Selphie remarked enthusiastically, continuing on the safari now that she knew that what they were chasing wasn't anything scary.

"I don't know, Sephie," Zell replied uncertainly, "It looked too small to be a zebra."

"Well then, it's a _baby _zebra, silly!" Selphie explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Zell pondered this for a moment, chewing on his lip as he contemplated. "Yeah, I guess you're right, Sephie. Maybe it _is _a baby zebra."

"See, Zelly, I _told _you I was right," Selphie emphasized, shaking her head at the thought that she could have possibly been wrong, making her pigtails sway back and forth. "Maybe we should get a leash for Zeebee for when we catch him," Selphie commented, thinking of how cool having a pet zebra would be.

"Zeebee?" Zell questioned her. "What's a Zeebee?"

"That's the baby zebra's name, of course," Selphie replied in exasperation, "I'm going to go back to the house and get a leash for Zeebee. I'll be real quick, though, okay?"

Zell nodded his compliance, though slightly annoyed that Selphie was going to delay the hunt. After Selphie had run off, though, Zell began to think of how much better it would be if _he _(and he alone) caught the wild zebra; all the rest of the kids would think he was the coolest.

'Sephie just said she was going to go back inside, she never said I had to _wait _for her,' Zell thought, finding an excuse to continue without his safari buddy. 'I'll go catch Zeebee and then Selphie can come back and leash him.'

Now that that was settled, Zell decided to continue on his chase. He made his way over to where the bushes were rustling, taking a peek behind them before daring to step into the undergrowth.

He spotted a black and white tail sticking up in front of him and although it didn't look like it belonged to any zebra that _he _had seen, his conclusion was that baby zebras must look different, and so with that he plunged toward his pray, his hands outstretched so that he could grab it before it ran off.

But instead of catching a hold of the 'zebra,' all he got was a face full of some sort of liquid, a disgusting smelling liquid at that.

It was at this moment that Selphie came running back with a small ball of yarn in hand, which was apparently the 'leash' she had gone back to the house to get. Upon coming within 30 yards of Zell, she stopped dead in her tracks, hastily covering her nose with the hand not being used to hold the yarn.

"Eww...something smells yucky!" she proclaimed, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

Wiping off his face as best he could with his shirt, Zell attempted to explain to Selphie what had happened. "I...I tried to catch Zeebee and...and he sprayed me in me face and now I smell all bad and I'm all wet and...and..." Zell managed to say before breaking out into a sob.

"I'm gonna go get Matron," Selphie replied, before hurriedly running back in the direction of the house from where she'd just come.

Matron arrived on the scene shortly afterwards, with Selphie following and trying to explain what had happened. After spotting Zell and smelling the stench that seemed to be radiating from him, she promptly shook her head in despair.

"Selphie, can you go back inside the house please and tell Uncle Cid what happened?" she directed to the small, revolted looking child behind her. Selphie nodded her head up and down before running away as fast as she could. "Oh Zell...however did you manage to get sprayed by a skunk, and in the face no less, if what Selphie told me is to be believed?" she asked, shaking her head sadly.

"Are you mad at me?" Zell asked pitifully, his bottom lip beginning to tremble as a sob threatened to break loose again.

"No, I'm not mad at you," Matron hastily assured the poor child, "We just need to get you cleaned up. Let's see, what is it you're supposed to do to get the skunk smell off?...I think I'm going to need to bathe you in tomato juice, okay Zell?"

Zell shook his head in resignation, willing to do just about anything so long as it got rid of the awful smell.

"Okay, get up and follow me," Matron ordered, making her way back to the house as Zell followed, head hung low. "Now I want you to strip off your clothes and sit in this metal basin outside here. I'm going to bathe you out here because I don't want the smell to get in the house. Now I've got to go get the tomato juice and a couple of other things, but I'll be right back."

With that said she turned toward the back door of the house and went inside, the screen door closing with a clack behind her.

Zell began to strip off the smelly clothes, tossing them haphazardly upon the ground as he did so. It was then that he saw Selphie, along with the rest of the children peering curiously at him from where they had been playing on the grass right outside of the house, their noses plugged as they tried to keep from smelling the odor that was coming from Zell.

Although Zell couldn't hear her from where he was standing, he could tell by the way that Selphie was talking a mile per minute while making extravagant hand gestures in his direction, with the rest of the children paying rapt attention to everything that she said, that Selphie was telling the story of what had happened to him.

'Stupid Sephie, I _should _have waited until she got back, then _she _would have gotten all smelly too,' Zell thought angrily, stepping into the cold metal basin Matron had told him he was to get bathed in, now that he had gotten all of his clothes off.

Matron came back then, a large pitcher of tomato juice, some soap and shampoo, a couple of towels, a garbage bag, and a new set of clothes in hand. "Do you think you could do me a favor, Zell?" she asked pleadingly, trying not to look too sickened by the smell for Zell's sake.

"Okay, Matron," Zell replied obediently, wondering what it was that she could possibly want.

"I want you to pick up all of the clothes that you just took off and put them in this garbage bag here. Do you think that you can do that for me?" Matron asked Zell, holding out the plastic garbage bag.

Zell nodded his head vigorously, before snatching the garbage bag and stepping out of the metal tub, which he was glad to get out of considering the fact that the metal had been quite cold on his bare skin. He quickly went around picking up his discarded clothes and dropping each of them in the bag before returning it to Matron, who placed it aside (very, very far aside) for the time being.

Motioning for Zell to step back into the basin, she grabbed the tomato juice and began to pour it over his skin, telling him to make sure and rub it over him real well to get rid of the smell.

After using up all of the tomato juice, she used the soap and shampoo to wash him some more, using the hose to rinse him off before handing him the towels. After Zell had dried himself off, he was given the clean clothes, which he hurriedly dawned before being told to run along and play.

But unfortunately the tomato juice hadn't quite gotten rid of all of the smell and none of the other children would play with him, which continued for the next couple of days as did Zell's being forced to sleep on the porch. Needless to say, Zell learned a lesson that day that he'll never forget: Skunks don't make very good pets.

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Author's Note: First off, I'd like to mention that this is a companion piece of sorts to A Picnic and Playful Banter, one of my other FFVIII works. Some of the stories that will be written in this fic will be mentioned or referred to in APaPB. So check out my other fic, it takes place after the game ends. Secondly, I just wanted to say that although I don't know how often I'll be able to update, but I _will _finish this story; I am determined to. I have it all planned out already; there are going to be eight chapters total, one chapter for a story centered around each of the six kids along with a prologue and epilogue. Lastly, I'd just like to say that I hope you like this story so far; if you did, then please let me know and I'll try and update faster. 


	3. Selphie

Summary: Ever wonder what kind of trouble the FFVIII gang got themselves into when they were kids? Well, here's a humorous collection of the adventures and mishaps that the Orphanage Gang had when they were little. Companion piece to A Picnic and Playful Banter.

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CHAPTER TWO: THE INCREDIBLE, EDIBLE...EARMUFF? 

"I want to be a puppy dog!" Selphie cried out enthusiastically, jumping up and down to make sure that everyone was paying attention to her.

"Okay, okay. So Sephie's a dog, Quisty is an owl, Irvine is a tiger, Squall's a lion, Zell is a chicken, and I am the ringleader," Seifer proclaimed, emphasizing his role as ringleader, seeing as it was the most important one (at least in his mind.)

"Hey! I am not a chicken! I told you I want to be a—" Zell began to whine before suddenly being cut off by an exasperated Seifer.

"I already told you, the only thing you can be is the chicken, so you can either be the chicken, or you can go back inside and play by yourself," Seifer declared, knowing full well that Zell would much rather be a circus chicken than stuck in the house all alone. He was right; although a sulky look was now plastered on Zell's face and his lips were turned downward in an exaggerated pout, he refrained from voicing any more complaints.

"Okay, now that we all know what we're going to be, it's time to start training for the big show. Since I am the ringleader, I get to tell you all what you have to do and you have to do it," Seifer stated knowledgably, smirking in triumph. Sometimes it really paid to be the oldest one out of the group.

Grabbing one of the large, plastic beach balls that was lying nearby, Seifer gestured Selphie over. "You have to balance on this," he informed her, nodding towards the ball he held in his hands before dropping it onto the lawn. "Okay, try it," he encouraged her, eager to get this show on the road so to speak.

Selphie hesitantly approached the ball, placing her hands on top of it before throwing a questioning look over her shoulder, one that was aimed at Seifer. "Like this?" she asked him uncertainly.

"No, you have to get all the way on, like with your knees too," Seifer responded, glaring at Selphie for her impudence as she continued to give him a wary look. "Here, I'll show you," Seifer announced pompously, certain that he could do it, even if Selphie could not.

He snatched the ball, placing it hastily in front of himself before attempting to scramble onto it...and promptly fell off, landing on his butt in the lush, green grass of the field they were playing in. Scowling angrily at the evil beach ball, Seifer promptly stood up and brushed himself off, glaring at Zell when he dared to laugh.

"Are you okay, Seifie?" Selphie asked, her dark green eyes full of concern. Seifer merely glared at her in response, before kicking the stupid ball that had made him fall across the yard as hard as he possibly could.

Turning to face the rest of the group once again, he glared at them all in warning to make sure that they got the hint that he would not put up with being made fun of for this incident before reaching over to the sizable pile of toys and grabbing a medium sized rubber ball that he then handed over to Selphie. "Here, you have to balance this on your nose," he stated, having decided to give up on the whole beach ball idea.

"I thought that's what seals do, but I'm a dog," Selphie protested mildly, holding the rubber ball tightly between her tiny hands.

"Well, you're a special dog," Seifer lied, not wanting to have to argue with Selphie, especially since he knew that he was right anyways (as always.)

"Woo-hoo! I get to be a special dog!" Selphie cried out joyously, before carefully placing the rubber ball on her nose. As soon as she let go of it, though, it immediately feel with a plop to the ground. Selphie stared at it in confusion for a moment, wondering why it wouldn't balance on her nose; she was a special dog, wasn't she?

But Seifer didn't seem too put off by her failure. "Keep practicing until you get it," he commanded Selphie, satisfied when she nodded her head eagerly up and down, then reached to pick up the ball and give it another go.

Leaving Selphie to practice her balancing act, he turned to assign Quistis the next task. He pondered for a moment what exactly a bird in the circus would typically do, before coming up with a brilliant plan, if he said so himself (which he often did.) "Quisty is going to be one of those talking birds. You know, like the one we saw out at Cactaur Island that one time. And she can tell jokes and stuff," Seifer proposed, waiting for the group to acclaim him for his ingenious idea before moving on to Zell's act.

Now, what could a chicken do? Although Seifer was the one who had forced Zell to be a chicken, he now had no idea what he could have him do. He had never heard of a circus chicken, nor any other amazing (or even interesting) chicken before, so he would have to think up something original. Well, that shouldn't be too hard, now should it?

'Let's see...chickens are about the same size as rabbits, maybe I can pull him out of a hat like a magic trick? Too bad we don't have a hat that big. Hmm...'

As Seifer sifted through various thoughts and ideas, taking longer than he had with either Selphie or Quistis, Zell began to fidget as his patience ran thin.

"So, what do I get to do?" Zell asked eagerly, hopping from one foot to the other, almost as if he had to pee.

"I'm thinking," Seifer replied irritatedly, frowning at the way Zell had just interrupted his thoughts so rudely. "And stop that," he added, as Zell's bouncing around started to get on his nerves.

Zell immediately stopped, used to people getting agitated by his excessive energy, the likes of which only Selphie could match. But after a couple of seconds of holding still and waiting quietly, he began to grow impatient again. "Tell me what I get to do, Seifer...please?" Zell asked, being nicer to Seifer than usual.

Apparently it wasn't nice enough, though. Tired of Zell's inability to hold still and be quiet for more than two seconds, Seifer decided that he'd better get rid of the little pest before he did something that would end up getting him in trouble...again.

"Well, Zell, you are going to be...the Fantabulous Climbing Chicken. See that tree over there?" here Seifer paused to point to a tree not too far away that was a good size and had plenty of branches low enough for Zell to be able to climb it. Zell nodded his head up and down excitedly and, satisfied, Seifer continued. "Go over there and climb it," he ordered.

"I didn't know chickens could climb," Zell commented hesitantly, afraid of angering Seifer further.

"Well, that's what makes you fantabulous, stupid," Seifer explained with exasperation, rolling his eyes at the fact that Zell was unable to figure out that quite obvious answer on his own.

"Oh," was all that Zell could think of in reply, the insult hardly even registering.

Squall, however, picked up on it. "That wasn't very nice, Seifa," he commented quietly, unable to properly pronounce Seifer's name, as he hugged his stuffed lion Griever to his chest.

Seifer merely gave Squall a look of slight disbelief, as if asking why on earth Squall cares if Zell gets picked on. "Who said I was trying to be nice?" he remarked with the best smirk a five year old could hope to achieve.

Irvine crossed his arms nonchalantly over his chest, rolling his eyes, as if unimpressed by Seifer's attitude. Seifer chose not to acknowledge him as he pointed to the tree he had designated earlier, clearly signaling Zell to go practice his 'Fantabulous Climbing Chicken' routine.

Zell trotted off obediently, though the bounce in his steps made it appear more as if he was skipping, and to the tree he went.

Turning back towards the remaining two of his circus crew, Seifer decided to next assign Irvine a task, because (if he remembered correctly) the lion was always brought out last, for the grand finale.

Because Irvine was a tiger (at Seifer's insistence, he had wanted to be a horse), Seifer decided that his trick would be to jump through hoops. He thought about making them flaming hoops, to spice things up a bit, but he was certain that Matron had hidden the matches and would be very upset if he played with them again after the last incident. (How was he supposed to know that roasting marshmallows and then throwing them at Zell in a fit of rage would result in Zell's hair catching fire?)

"You're going to jump through hoops," Seifer announced aloud to Irvine before scrounging around in the toy pile once again, finding a couple ofhula hoops that would work well for the tiger act.

Now that that was done, Seifer was free to proceed to the final act. Yelling for everyone to gather around and listen up, Seifer proceeded to tell the group about Squall's act.

"For the last trick, the finale, I have to stick my head in the lion's mouth," Seifer explained dramatically to the group, gesturing for Squall (a.k.a. the lion) to step forward. "Now open you mouth," Seifer ordered.

But when the three-year-old Squall opened his mouth as wide as he possibly could, it soon became apparent to all of them that Seifer's head was way too big to fit. Thinking quickly, Seifer soon came up with a solution for the dilemma. "Well, since Squall's only a tiny lion, I only have to stick my finger in." With that said, he stuck his finger in the 'lion's' mouth, leaving it there for a couple moments, then removed the amazingly unharmed digit with a flourish and a loud "Tada!" The other four clapped (some more enthusiastically than others) and Selphie shouted out an excited "Woo-hoo!"

Now that the preparations were done, it was time to show off all of their hard work at the grand opening of their little show. They decided to invite Matron and Uncle Cid (as they had dubbed him) along with all of the stuffed animals they owned (Selphie just had to have her favorite teddy bear Smoochie there to watch her performance and Squall was adamant that Griever not be left out either.) They had set up all of the toys on the steps leading out to the flower field, which was, at the moment, nothing more than a large expanse of grass, and had left an empty space right in the middle of the steps for Matron and Uncle Cid to sit.

There was even somewhat of a stage set up. In truth it was nothing more than a sheet draped over a clothesline which was supposed to be the curtains of the stage (Matron and Cid weren't quite sure how the children had been able to reach up high enough to drape the sheet over the clothesline), but it was rather well done for a group of 3 to 5 year olds.

Cid and Edea took a seat amongst the stuffed animals, smiling slightly at the grand affair that the children had set up for them. Once they were seated, Seifer appeared form behind the curtain, whispering frantically to the rest of the children before turning his attention to the waiting audience and plastering a large smile onto his face.

"Welcome to Almasy's Amazing Super Special Circus Galore!" he began proudly, sweeping his hands out in a grand gesture to the audience. "For the first act, we'll be having Selphie the Amazing Balancing Dog!" he announce loudly, soaking up attention as Matron and Uncle Cid clapped before running around to the other side of the sheet and pushing Selphie onstage.

Despite all of Selphie's hard practice, she still managed to drop the ball several times, never balancing it for more than a few seconds at a time. But at the end of her act (with Seifer whispering loudly enough for all to hear for her to get off), Matron and Cid clapped loudly as Selphie curtsied clumsily, a large grin lighting up her face.

The rest of the acts were executed in much the same manner as the first; what with Quistis telling silly jokes that they had all heard before, Zell scrapping his knee in the middle of climbing the tree and ending up having his performance cut short in order to get a Band-Aid, Irvine tripping on one of the hula hoops and falling flat on his face in the grass, and Squall sneezing on a very pissed off Seifer during the grand finale.

The audience didn't seem to mind too much, though; Cid and Edea clapped loudly and the stuffed animals merely sat there with little sewn on grins.

Everyone was fairly well pleased, Selphie especially. In fact, she had had so much fun being a dog, that she had decided that she would like to be one on a permanent basis. When she had informed Matron of this, she had been told that she was a little girl, and not a dog and always would be so, but Selphie had stubbornly chosen not to believe her.

She wasn't a little girl; she was a dog. And not just any dog, but a special one at that. She had gone around for the next hour or so on her hands and knees, barking every once in a while and rolling around in the grass.

Seeing that words would do no good at dissuading Selphie and finding it necessary to stop Selphie's admittedly harmless game before it became a problem and got on everyone's nerves, Matron decided to try a different tactic. That night at dinner, when Selphie went to sit down at her usual place at the table, she decided to take action. "What are you doing, Selphie?" she asked curiously, as if Selphie was doing something unexpected.

Selphie looked at her with confusion, tilting her head to the side as she pondered what Matron was asking. "I'm just sitting down for dinner," she replied hesitantly, wondering why Matron was unable to see that herself.

"Well, dogs aren't aloud to eat at the table," Matron stated seriously, hoping that this new approach would work. "I guess that means that you'll have to eat on the floor, then," she added.

"Edea, dear, is this really ne—" Cid began, before being cut off by the glare Edea was sending his way. While he didn't really agree with what she was doing at the moment, nor see how it was necessary, he assumed that his wife knew best and therefore left it for her to decide how deal with it.

Seifer seemed to be getting a big kick out of the whole ordeal. Turning toward Selphie, he pointed to the corner of the room. "Go over there and sit, Scruffy," he ordered her, making up a name that seemed fit for a dog.

Selphie pouted, but, surprisingly, complied. Although Edea hadn't actually planned on going through with it, hoping Selphie would give up being a dog in order to eat dinner at the table, she brought a bowl of stew and set it down in front of Selphie. Selphie stared at it somewhat glumly; she didn't even like stew; before bending down and lapping it up like a dog would.

"You know, Selphie, little girls are allowed to eat at the table. If you'll just be a little girl again, then you can come join the rest of us for dinner," Matron tried to reason with four-year-old.

"I don't want to be a little girl! I want to be a puppy dog!" Selphie cried out stubbornly, before continuing to lap at her stew. After a couple more sips, she declared that she was done with dinner and ran out the screen door to play.

It seemed that the rest of the children had a similar idea, as they all hurriedly ate a few more spoonfuls of stew before rushing out the door in Selphie's footsteps. Matron let out a long suffering sigh, finding that this whole parenting thing was much harder than she'd imagined it to be. "What do you think we should do?" she asked imploringly of her husband.

"We? Don't look at me," he replied, dropping his spoon and raising his hands as if in surrender. "This was your idea, after all," he reminded, shoving a bite of stew into his mouth as an excuse to not have to say any more. His wife merely gave him a withering look, shaking her head at the stew he had just spilled down the front of his white shirt, idly wondering if it would come out in the wash.

Oblivious to the conversation the adults were having inside, the children were plopped down on the lawn trying to come up with something they could do, something fun that is. Various ideas were brought up before promptly being discarded, until Zell brought up a game that they had never played before and was therefore found appealing by most of the group.

"How about we play fetch with Scruffy?" he proposed, using the new name Seifer had given the 'dog.' The rest of the group eventually agreed, before Seifer dove into the toy pile to find a suitable ball to play with.

He come up victorious a few seconds later, holding the dilapidated remains of an old earmuff, now only a fluffy, roundish, pink furball. "Here we go; we can use this!" he announced, throwing it as far as he could, expecting Selphie to immediately chase it.

Although Selphie was now growing uncertain as to whether she really wanted to be a dog any longer, she chased the 'ball' as was expected, picking it up in her mouth when she reached it. It tasted funny and it was getting hair all in her mouth.

She decided that she definitely did not like this part of being a dog. Wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible, she promptly spit it out into the grass, though even after doing so fur still coated the inside of her mouth. "Ucky!" she squealed, wiping her tongue with her hands, desperately trying to get the nasty stuff out.

The rest of the group was laughing at the sight that Selphie made, all of them except for Squall, who had a small, confused frown on his face. "I don't think you were supposed to eat it, Selphie," he commented sincerely.

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Author's Note: Wow! This chapter was long! I hope you guys like it. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! I'll try and update again soon. 


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